And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me

You live. You love. You cry. You lose. You bleed. You scream. You grieve. You choke. You laugh. You choose. You pray. You ask. You live. YOU LEARN.
___________________________________________

Ok so. I'm sure you've heard of the Vietnam Wall that they built in Washington DC, right? Well they have a "travelling wall" that's a replica and they take it all over the United States for people that might never make it to see the actual in DC. It's been to all 50 states and this is the second time its been to Ohio. People come from all over to see it.

If you don't know what the Vietnam Wall is, it's a simple explanation with a complicated meaning. The Vietnam Wall was created as a dedication memorial to all the men and women who died in Vietnam or are still missing. It's not everyone that served, just the ones who died and were never found. There are 58, 000 names on the wall. And that's just ONE war. Depressing.

Well my city requested the wall to come here and it did. From Thursday to today it was displayed in the town's main park. My grandma, aunt, and I went to see it yesterday. POWERFUL. I've seen the actual in DC and it blew me away. I mean, to read all of those names and to see the flowers and cards left there from families; it's so so sad. I think every single person cried. Both yesterday and when I went to the one in DC; including myself.

I hadn't planned on crying, seriously, I mean I'm a big sap but I didn't want to cry because I'd seen the one in DC and knew what it was about. Well plans change don't they? I was doing fine until we got about 1/4 of the way through and there was a picture with a note attached sitting against the wall. The lady in front of me bent down to read it and came up sobbing. That should've been my clue not to read it, but I did anyway. This is what it said, I couldn't finish reading, and this is as far as I got:

"Dear daddy, I'm all grown up now and I wish you would've been around to watch me grow. You have 3 beautiful grandchildren but no great-grandkids just yet. We all miss you terribly. Mom is in a nursing home now but she's doing alright..."

That's all I could read. Just like the woman in front of me, I came up sobbing. The note was attached to a picture of her dad.

There was another picture of two guys with their arms around eachother and the one guy was circled. It said above his head, "He was my best friend." :( gave me chills.

At the top of the wall it reads:

"In honor of the men and women of the armed forces of the United States who served in the Vietnam war. The names of those who gave their lives and of those who remain missing are inscribed in the order they were taken from us."

I never knew that. I knew they weren't in alphabetical order and so I couldn't figure out WHAT order they were in. In the order they were killed. Interesting :(

The picture posted below of the POW/MIA table, the framed letter says this:

"This table, set for one, is small, symbolizing the frailty of one prisoner, alone against his or her suppressors.
The tablecloth is white, symbolic of the purity of their intentions to respond to their country's call to arms.
The single red rose in the vase, signifies the blood they many have shed in sacrifice to ensure the freedom of our beloved United States of America. This rose also reminds us of the family and friends of our missing comrades who keep the faith, while awaiting their return.
The yellow ribbon on the vase represents the yellow ribbons worn on the lapels of the thousands who demand with unyielding determination a proper accounting of our comrades who are not among us tonight.
A slice of lemon on the plate reminds us of their bitter fate.
The salt sprinkled on the plate reminds us of the countless fallen tears of families as they wait.
The glass is inverted - they cannot toast with us this night.
The chair is empty - they are not here.
The candle is reminiscent of the light of hope which lives in our hearts to illuminate their way home, away from their captors, to the open arms of a grateful nation.
Let us pray to the supreme commander that all of our comrades will soon be back within our ranks.
Let us remember and never forget their sacrifices.
May god forever watch over them and protect them and their families."

I'll post the picture but in case you can't read what it says I'll go ahead and type it. This was a poster sized, framed poem at one of the booths:

"Take a man, put him alone
Put him 12, 000 miles from his home
Empty his heart, of all but blood
Make him live, in sweat and mud
This is the life, I have to live
This is the soul, to the devil I give

You have your parties and drink your beer
While young men are dying over here
Plant your signs on the White House lawn
'Let's get the hell out of Vietnam'
Carry your signs, and have your fun
Then refuse to carry a gun
There's nothing else for you to do
I guess I'M supposed to die for YOU

There's one thing that you should know
This is where I think you should go
I'm already here, and it's too late
I've traded my love, just for hate
I'll hate you till the day I die
You made me hear my buddy cry

I saw his leg and his blood shed
I heard them say, 'this one's dead'
It was a larger price for him to pay
To let you live another day
He had the guts to fight and die
To keep the freedom you live by

By his dying, your life he buys
But who gives a damn, if a 'grunt' dies?"
Found on the body of a dead Marine, Vietnam June 7, 1969.

Breathe that one in for a while...

...xoxo

Here are some of the pictures I took:

What it says on the wall:

Walking through:

The American flag hung up above the trees by a crane:

It meant more in black and white:

Here's the poem I typed:

They put the POW in these cages in Vietnam. Yeah, that's right, American soldiers were chained inside these cages like abused animals:

The POW/MIA table:

The whole thing:

Wow. This picture took on a new life in b&w:


I knew a man called him Sandy Kane
Few folks even knew his name
But a hero was he
Left a boy, came back a man
Still many just don't understand
About the reasons we are free

I can't forget the look in his eyes
Or the tears he cries
As he said these words to me

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Now Sandy Kane is no longer here
But his words are oh so clear
As they echo through out our land
For all his friends who gave us all
Who stood the ground and took the fall
To help their fellow man

Love your country and live with pride
And don't forget those who died, America can't you see

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall, yes recall
Some gave all

You can have whatever you like

You're gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy cars
And then you'll see, you're gonna go far
Cause everyone knows, just who you are
So live your life
Instead of chasing that paper
Just live your life
Ain't got no time for no haters
Just live your life
No telling where it'll take you
Just live your life
Cause I'm a paper chaser
Just living my life

So live your life.
_________________________________________________

So it's been a decent week! School went great as did work. Tonight I hung out with my lovely Bethie! We went and saw Nights in Rodanthe...wow...go see it! It was beautiful, and I got teary eyed of course ;)

Nicholas Sparks is my favorite author <33

NEWSFLASH* Alright, plan B...or well plan "new." As of today [what is today?] *checks calendar* Saturday September 27, 2008 I officially changed my mind...again.

No wait, not again. Because the original plan I had was always the plan, until now. Instead of LA [I hope my family reads this] I've decided to move to NYC. There's a lot of reasons so I'll name a few.
-Like LA, its a big city with bright lights
-Great nightlife
-Easier to get around [subways, cabs-unlike LA]
-I want to be in NYC at Christmas, how beautiful?
-The ball drops there, I want that to be my backyard :)
-It's still got water and beach for the summer
-It also is overflowing with celebrities
-It's a 12 hour drive or a 2 hour flight home which is hella quicker than Cali :)
-Oh and it has all 4 seasons. YAY. I love fall and winter too much to give it all up for year round warm.

I can ALWAYS change my mind back to LA. I'm thinking, give NYC a few years and then switch it up and move to LA. I was telling my grandma about it and she goes, "I like NYC, it'd be a nice place to live and even if you don't like it you can always move. Plus you're young. Live in NY for a few years then move to LA. You can live wherever you want." She suggested NYC would be better for someone young because you can keep up with the fast pace and deal with the cold weather. She said when I'm older I'm going to want a place that's always warm. Then I'll go to LA.

Oh and and and, [sorry to make this public babe, let me know if you want me to delete] Bethie is starting at Paul Mitchell's college in the spring and she'll be doing hair for fashion week [omfg] and her plans are to move to NYC after she gets her degree. Hello?! Beth and I have been friends since 1st grade, I would be more than grateful to have another familiar face from back home in the big city :) I can just see us now meeting at Starbucks on our lunch breaks *daydreams*

Life in the fast lane :)

I forgotgotgot to mention that I'll be living with the wonderful and beautiful Chloe Olivia Platz [my best, I mean fated friend] and the sensationally awesome Jennifer Irene Gammon! Oh the plans we have *rubs hands together* mwahahahaha

I think that NYC is going to be a better decision. I am a little torn, but I'm almost 100% sure I've changed my mind. Its not that I'm indecisive, its that something told me today that I need to go to NYC. I just got a feeling without explanation, therefore, that's the reasoning behind the sudden change.

I will live in LA...someday. But in 3 years, my new home will be NYC :)

Here is the love quote of the day because I [love] it haha:
"You never lose by loving, you lose by holding back."

True story. Build unbreakable walls and you might just lose out on Mr. Right. That's all. Loveyou*

I leave you with pictures of the city that doesn't sleep:

^^DWTS!


^^ reminds me of Batman!


^^Central Park in the fall! I want to sip on some Starbucks while sitting on a bench and reading a book on my day off.


^^CHRISTMAS! HOW PURDY?!


:)


^^I love it because the WTC's are in it.

Every mile a memory

So in my Hospitality text book, there was this section where they had these students at a convention write down their dreams on a large panel. It struck me to write down a list of things I want out of life. Some of them are repeats of what the students said since I am in agreeance with their goals. Here's my list of what I want out of life:

-To learn and grow by helping people
-To be the best I can be and nothing less
-To be happy and make others happy too
-To love wholeheartedly and then feel the same in return
-To make people smile when I smile
-To make people laugh when I laugh
-To give hope that peace still exists
-To focus on the positive and let go of all that is negative
-To prove myself to God
-To make a difference in the lives of people who's paths I cross
-To be successful professionally, socially, and financially
-To reach for the stars because the sky's the limit
-To leave my imprint on the world
-To make others and myself proud
-To give more than I take
-To use the knowledge I've gained and pass it on to others
-To see the beauty in life and the world
-To keep close the people that matter the most
-To meet as many people life has to offer
-To travel the world and appreciate it for what it's worth
-To reach all of my goals through happiness and love
-To stay true to myself in all my endeavors
-To remember that this life is mine and I can do exactly what I please

So what are your dreams and goals? Take a moment to think about them and then hold onto them and reference them often.

:) that's all I have for a blog. love you*

Pictures I tried to upload the last time:

A million empty faces

She fell out; her broken legs won’t let her walk away
From this town that couldn’t give a single shit either way
And her fears they bled before she’s convinced that they’re real

What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
It’s not me, it’s not me

Lost her way from everything she swore she knew, a friend
Run away from start to finish though it never ends
In her mind she is blinded by all she sees
Close your eyes just pretend the bullet isn’t there
No surprise no need to pretend that no one really cares
But in her eyes you will find the very best in me

What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
It’s not me, it’s not me

When did it all unwind?
Are you prepared for what you’ll find?
It’s not me, it’s not me
________________________________________

I cannot WAIT for his new album...you didn't hear it from me but [he'sgotanewsinglecomingoutnextweek]

*coughs*

This was just really random and I wanted to post it so I don't forget it: Last night while I was waiting for my take-out at the chinese place this random guy sitting and waiting for his food, struck up a convo. He goes, "so what'd you get?" and I was like "...um, lo mein and chicken teriayki, you?" and then he told me and then an ambulance went by and we started talking about how its been a familiar sound lately with all the power outages and people getting hurt. He sat there and talked to me for like 10 mins and then we he got his food and turned to leave he was like "it was nice talking to you, good luck with everything."

Everything? What did he mean? Good luck with life? Wow. How sweet? I was just taken aback because a total stranger wished me good luck with life?! I loved it, he was a nice guy. I wished him the same.

Sometimes I wonder if God throws these people in my path to make me stop and smile. To step back and see the good in life and people.

You should NEVER take more than you give, you know? The love you receive is in direct proportion to the love you give. Gosh, there are so many self centered people around this place anymore. God's plan for us all is to learn to love one another. It seems people are too caught up in loving themselves to show compassion to their fellow man. I'm already a happier person for putting others first...it's a wonderful lesson in life: help somebody when ya can, not because someone else is. Like this lady at the perfume counter dropped the coffee beans all over the floor so I bent down to help her pick them up while others just walked over them and crunched them into tiny pieces.

Its the little things in life. I just thought, "if I was that woman and had that job, I'd be embarrassed to pick those coffee beans off the floor while everyone walked by." I ALWAYS THINK TO MYSELF: What if I was in their situation? I swear to you, I'm happier with life in general because of it. Its the simple things my friends...the simple things in life make the world a better place.

That was off topic, so back on track...

Mama texted me this morning and was like "your cousin's at nana's for the weekend." YAY!!!! She's referring to my cousin Noah, his wife Nicole, and daughters Carly and Sophie from TN. So I went and spent the evening with them. *smiles* I love my fam. Noah is such a smart ass though, but it relieves me to know that I am in fact part of the family since I'm just like him. He's hilarious...they asked me to come see them for a long weekend. They live 7 mins from my Uncle Ed and Aunt Sam, and then 5 mins from my other cousin Mark. It sounds like a plan. 5 hour drive? I can do it! Especially if I have a goofy family waiting for me on the other side lol. They live 20 mins from Nashville! Woohoo, that's such a fun place.

Yeah, I'll have to ask Noah for the pictures he took...idk if he'll upload them online though since they were taken on a disposable camera? Hmm...anywho, yeah I think that's about all. OH! I got let go early today at work which made me oober happy cuz I got to go home and nap haha.

I have to pee so I'll cut this short, and sorry for sharing the unwanted info haha, love you*

IT WONT FUCKING LET ME UPLOAD PICS, I AM PISSED OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. EXPECT LOTS TOMORROW!

This I promise you

I'll be your strength
I'll give you hope
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call
Was standing here all along
____________________________________

We have electricity! HALELUJIAH! AMEN! haha, we got it back around 5p yesterday. I believe my grandma has yet to get it back, as well as the Dr I work for. SUCKS. It's taking sooooo long to get through everyone, my goodness. No fun at all!

So I gave Kayla her presents last night. We both bawled like babies together...it was sad but nice to share that moment. I have to remind myself that she's only going to be 45 mins away. But losing her to vacation for a week is so much different to losing her to college 45 mins away for 4 yrs. SO TOTALLY DIFFERENT. *sighs* stop thinking about it, haha. I have an 8am date to say goodbye in the morning. I don't do well with goodbyes...I've known Kayla for 15 years, this is gonna be intense [to say the least].

Moving on, I can cry tomorrow...I absolutely LOVE college. Just wanted to throw that out there. If I'm being honest, I was ALWAYS looking for a way out of school before. I enjoyed elementary school but once I hit Jr High I rebelled and decided to hate school haha. Don't get me wrong, I had hundreds of friends who I adored seeing but the work was just bothersome. I've never been big on school. I look back on it NOW and realize how amazing it was, though. I had some awesome teachers and unforgettable memories from every class.

With that being said, I still HATED going to school. I am not a 6am person so often times I preferred skipping school to catch up on sleeping. Of course this affected my grades and so on and so forth.

But college? WHOLE.DIFFERENT.STORY. I never thought I'd say this *chokes* but I actually look forward to going. Huh? Back the truck up...did I just say "I actually look forward to going? TO SCHOOL? Yeah...that's right, I do. I love love love it.

My Hospitality class= I adore my professor! And the people in there are cool, I've made friends with the people I sit around and they range from ages 20-45. I LOVE IT!

My Math class= Hate the subject, teacher isn't too bad, but LOVE the people in there. Today before he got there we had an open discussion, like everyone in the class just started talking?! I loved it! So now when I don't understand something, I feel comfortable asking the people around me for help. This one girl is really cool, we talked for 25mins before class and then during class too haha, idk her name though...gahhh!

My Geography class= MY FAVORITE!!!! I LOVE MY TEACHER AND MY CLASSMATES! We're doing this group project and everyone in my group is so friendly and motivated. I'm ecstatic! We have open discussions daily. Our teacher is a sweetheart and everyone in the class just blends so perfectly together. I seriously believe we ALL get along. I love that class.

My online English class= My professor is a sweetheart. She's amazing at communicating with us and so I definitely don't feel lost like I thought I would be.

Fuck me, I LOVE COLLEGE. The homework really isn't bad. So if I have any high schoolers reading this, don't freak out about college, it isn't as bad as what they tell us in high school.

Thus far, I've enjoyed every minute of attending college. I think I made the PERFECT decision with my major and I already feel more prepared and empowered to face my future than I did a month ago. Can you imagine what I'll feel like in 3 years?

WATCH OUT WORLD! I'm ready to rock and roll haha.

Just wanted to blog, this is all I had to say for now :)

love you*

Speaking of homework, Winston protested last night and decided to LAY ON my books!

We will still be friends forever

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more

Because when the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
______________________________________

This is fabulous. Living without power, I mean. Hurricane Ike slammed Texas around 3am Sunday morning and around 2pm Sunday afternoon we lost power. And we still don't have it back.

I can't even tell you what is going on in Texas, I haven't heard because we can't watch the news. Rumor has it that there are thousands dead and that Houston was practically wiped off the map. That is terrible :( My thoughts and prayers are with all those families who fell victim to the devastation.

They've called a state-wide emergency here in Ohio. Anyone looked at a map before? Notice where Ohio is from Texas? HELLO. If we got hit hard, I cannot even begin to fathom what those poor people experienced.

I guess I'll map it out for you...Saturday night was pretty windy. I mean, I wasn't worried about it or anything because wind is wind. Well I wake up Sunday around noon and it sounds like the house is falling apart. I freak out and run downstairs and Judy's like "its just really windy." It was practically black outside [in the middle of the afternoon I remind you] and theres shit blowing all over. I let it go and got a shower and started playing on the computer. At about 145 everything goes black. I'm like "uh I think we just lost power?!"

So I leave and go to the hospital since my grandpa is there and on the way, there are trees blocking streets, people are out in the road picking stuff up, traffic and street lights are broken on the ground and I'm just thinking "wtf happened?"

It looked like a tornado had come through. So I drive through town and NOTHING is open. There isn't a soul at any of the restaraunts, grocery stores, gas stations, no where! I get to the hospital and their back-up generator is out! All the patients rooms are dark and the nurses are panicing. We were sitting in my grandpas room and watched 2 huge trees snap right in half. I wish you could've seen it. These huge trees snapping in half! This one tree completely pulled down a whole line of wires. There are wires down everywhere though. Trees fell on peoples houses, electrical lines fell on peoples houses, traffic lights fell on peoples cars...I mean we are talking an outright EMERGENCY situation here! They said that the winds got up to 75mph. They have declared Ohio in a state of emergency. There are 1.2 million people in the state WITHOUT power. The county we live in still has 200,000 people without power.

We have been living in the dark since 2pm Sunday. My mom has been going into the hospital to shower and get ready for work. I haven't had school since they don't have power as well and I've been going to the hospital to use up their wireless and to charge my phone and laptop.

It's insane. And look how far we are from Texas?! Those poor people :( I shouldn't even have a right to complain considering what they're going through. Bless them all...

On to other news :( my best friend moves to college Friday. I've cried 4 times in the past week and I cried for an hour straight last night.

You don't understand...this girl is MY LIFE. We've been friends since were 3 years old and our mom's were friends in high school. She moved in next door when we were in 4th grade. We've always gone to the same school, I mean, we've just always been inseperable. We've spent EVERY summer together and every holiday together. She has been more of a sister to me than either of my own.

Every single person in my life has let me down at some point in time. Therefore, my trust has been broken with every single relationship I've shared. EXCEPT Kayla and I. She has NEVER done anything to break my trust. Seriously, I've sat and thought about it on purpose for HOURS trying to come up with something this girl has done to break my trust.

Nothing...15 years and I still trust her 100%. Granted we were 3 when we met, so of course I trusted her then, but at 18 years old and 15 years later, that girl has never let me down.

You know what happens when I call her or text her at 3 o'clock in the morning? SHE ANSWERS ME. You know what everyone else does? They answer me when they wake up, or when its CONVENIENT for them. There is never an inconvenient time with Kayla.

Oh God the things that girl knows...Oh my my my. If it could've been done, we did it together.

She is my life, my everything, my best friend, my confidant, the cheese to my macaroni, the jelly to my peanut butter, the frick to my frack, my partner in crime, my better half, the Bert to my Ernie [ok that wasn't the BEST example] but all in all, she's the sister I never had but deserved...

God has blessed me with the world's best friend. We made a promise back when we were 14 that we would spend our lives together, that our kids would call eachother "Aunt Kayla and Aunt Rachel," and then we'd share the same nursing home room when we're 100 years old. We often remark that if we can't find decent men who love us unconditionally and are romantic like the men in the movies, then we'll just live together and watch sappy love movies every night with a tub of ice cream and a bag of popcorn :) She's the only person I've ever met that is as big of a sap for love as I am, and we're both scared shitless that that kind of love doesn't exist anymore haha.

I'm going to miss her more than any words could ever sum up, but I know this isn't the end...because I know this friendship will never end.

I love MY Sparky.

:( and I believe that's all I have to say...

xoxo<3

My grandpa gave me his old room and my grandma remodeled it while I was gone :)

As close as the beat of my heart

Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to go
Tell me will love be there?
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there?
Oh, Heaven let your light shine down
________________________________________

Shit on a stick, a lot has happened since last time.

Haha, for one, I'm no longer in Florida ;)

I'm gonna try and sum everything up quickly because I don't want this blog to be a year long like the others have been.

Alrighty sooooo....Tuesday was my first day in college! YAY ME! haha it was good. I adore my Intro to Hospitality professor. His name is Derek and he is the perfect way to start my day. He's hilarious and he is 100% there for us whenever we need him. The first day he was like "I want y'all to know that you CAN be number 1. Who was number 1 in the men's swimming in the Olympics?" We all answered Michael Phelps. He goes "who came in 2nd?" And no one knew. He was like "That's exactly my point. You're either going to be number 1 or the number 1 follower."

Wow...I'm more motivated now than ever and he's already inspired me and I've only had class twice!

My math teacher is in his 80's *rolls eyes* he's a really nice guy! I just can't hear him very well haha, suckssssss.

My Geography teacher is a sweetie. She reminds me of Kirstie Alley, its great! I like her a lot. She's already given me some advice and we've talked one on one a few times.

My online English teacher is awesome possum too! She seems really nice so far and the class is really open and comfortable, even if it is online :)

I'm so thankful that I've been blessed with good professors cuz I know not everyone is lucky, so thanks to God, I'm going to love college. I was telling my parents, I don't know why or exactly when I decided to major in Travel and Tourism and decided to be a travel agent, but I can say now that I've gone to school I KNOW that I'm doing the right thing. I feel like I'm right where I belong and that's a rewarding feeling to have <33

Wednesday was a great day :) it was my last chance with the American Idols haha. Only 5 of em' came out to the buses before. I talked to Dave [AI tour dude] for 20 mins or so haha and Ray [one of the other AI tour dudes] winked at me everytime I talked to him? Haha, him and Dave were both super nice tho just like they have been the entire tour! We went into the arena to see if we could pick up our passes early and they were preping everyone with a preshow pass on what to do and so we were walking out and this guy who works for the tour came runnin after us and he goes "you guys wanna go back?" and duhhhh we did. So we got to do preshow!!! WOO. DC wasn't in the greatest of moods. He barely talked to or smiled for anyone. I was heartbroke :( it was my last time with him and he incredibly upset about something :( I just pray that everything was ok...

So the show was good!! David had family there :) We went backstage after the show. We talked to Michael for like 15 mins haha and then we talked to the rest of them just briefly. Umm...DC's grandma came back :) I talked to her and his aunt[? I think thats who she was] and they were incredibly sweet. His grandma called me sweetheart and his aunt called me dear, so I'm practically part of the family now LMFAO. And no, I will not let anyone see her picture, I didn't ask her permission and I don't want to disrespect his family's privacy. We also talked to Jeff Archuleta...we had to say thank you for the backstage passes :) he's a total sweetie and I don't care what the public says about him. Everyone has personal family issues, and if there's problems there, then thats their business you know? But from the 3 times I've talked to Jeff, he's been awesome. I also talked to Archie's neighbor haha, well ok, he talked to me. He was a nice guy, and so was Archie's mom. He's got a great support group. As does DC :) I got home at 4am and got up for school at 7. YEAH. Stick that in your juice box and suck it haha, I still can't believe I survived.

That's my past week in a nutshell. I wasn't in the mood to share ALL my details from the concert and college so this was as good as I could do, hope you approve!!

Thanks for reading, love you alllllllllllllll*

Here's a pic of my signed photo and my 2 passes. I'll have ALL my vacation pics and Idol pics up before the end of the weekend! xoxo

Got ya tidal waves out on the sea

Two steps removed from everything I thought I knew
There's no remedy
I see your face in every single thing I do
You change me

Your laugh, intoxicating
One touch and I'm negating everything around
Take me and I'm yours
I only want you anymore
I kiss the ground

If you want to know the truth
You make or break my day.
If you want to know the truth
I wouldn't have it any other way.
____________________________________

Its amazing how I feel those EXACT feelings about the artist who wrote them...la dee da dee dee

Today sucks :( Hanna [I misspelled her the other day] is close enough to destroy our last day of weather. I woke up at 747 [bff's address!] to thunder...I look out the door, and sure enough its storming like crazy. I would've stayed up to watch it but I was tiredddd. So then I wake up at, oh idk, 10 something, and the wind is crazy and the waves are coming all the way up to the deck! Damn, I've never seen it like this. I went out and took pics and vids again, haha, cuz I'm cool enough of course! The palm trees were practically bending, the wind was so strong. We've sat here all morning with the door open and now the waves are crashing even closer to the deck. I won't be surprised if our pool floods LMAO. I hope my explanation makes sense so you can understand it better: We're on the first floor. Our room has a sliding door that walks out to the deck. There are stairs to take you from the deck down to the pool area. Then there are more steps that take you down to the beach. Does that make sense? Well, the waves are crashing right next to the stairs. Therefore, if it gets any worse, they'll crash in the pool HAHA. Now that would be something to see. The wind is calm right now but earlier there were 40mph gusts, and dumbass me was out taking videos and pictures hahaha.

Anyway, its hard to describe something to people who aren't here experiencing it with me. You'll just have to wait to see the videos :)

When we got up this morning we turned on the TV to see if Hanna's forecast had changed and what's on? The fucking Republican Convention. Fuck me, right? Haha, sorry, I may be a little biased. Funny thing is, I'm hardcore Democrat, and didn't even watch their convention! I guess I was a little occupied though since we were in Phoenix. So now that the weather has been shitty, we've had the TV on more and instead of talking about the dangerous weather, they're all going over McCain's speech from last night, or whenever it was? Gahh...I'm so ready to just get this political shit over with. I don't need to watch it anymore, I already know who I'm voting for and I knew that way back in Februaury [or whenever it was] after I voted for Hiliary. Maybe I shouldn't have said who I voted for? But then again, I'm not ashamed, so why be afraid? There's a commerical right now that I adore. It goes a little something like, "John McCain voted 90% of the time with Bush" and then it shows him saying he backs Bush's plans and thinks he was a great president. I said it before and I'll say it again, why would you want people to know you clearly support the worst president in history? DOES THAT NOT MAKE SENSE DUMBASS? haha... Unlike McCain's commercials that have NO proof of what they say about Obama, Obama's commercial has a video of him saying it. What more proof do you need?!

And now all these people are like "well Sarah Palin's daughter is having a baby at 17." That's great, lets target the kids. Geeze. Oh and when we were in Phoenix a guy at the airport was like, "Everyone says this Sarah chick has no experience, well neither does Obama! Neither of them are good!" gahhhhh FUCK ME.

Now I'm ranting again...I realize this. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't for their speeches last week. Last week at the national convention, McCain came to talk to everyone, on Tuesday[?] I believe...well his whole speech kind of went like this, "my opponent says he'll do this, my opponent supports this, my opponent, my opponent. But I'll do this, this is what I think America needs."

Obama was there through satellite on Wednesday, wanna hear his speech? "America deserves this, change needs to happen, as a nation we need to do this, we need to do that." Oh wait! HE NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT HIS 'OPPONENT.' He talked as if America bands together WE can change our nation. Unlike when McCain talked, bashing Obama more times than I could count, and then saying I'll do this I'll do that, NOT, we'll do this together as a nation.

But people won't vote for Obama because his name sounds like Osama and he's black. So therefore we're going to vote for a candidate who's going to end up like the president we already have.

Fuck politics. No one ever does what's right for the greater good, they only do what they want and what's good for THEM, not the nation. You know how many soldiers are being selfless and fighting for people they don't even know? Yeah, thats you and me! They don't know us, but they're fighting anyway. They don't wanna be, but they are. Why can't Americans do that when they vote? Do what will be best for EVERYONE and not just because someone is black or their vice president's 17 year old daughter is preggo.

I've ranted enough and I'm sure a lot of people disagree with what I have to say. I'm just glad I CAN voice my opinion and have the right to vote. Team Obama, and I'm not ashamed to say so. I believe in change, Obama wants change. I believe in him because he believes in America. What do you believe in?

3 pics o' the day since I have NOTHING better to do :(

I don't need to explain myself anymore:



yesterday after sun bathing:

the world's cutest picture. Little Lindsey, the girl with leukemia that he wears the bracelet for, I love you David:

I LOVE YOU.

I've got a peaceful, easy feeling

To fight for the right
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march
Into hell for a heavenly cause.

This is my quest, to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To be willing to give when there's no more to give
To be willing to die so that honor and justice may live.
__________________________________________

That song gives me chills everytime I hear it. I think everyone has sang it too?! Jim Neighbors did, Elvis did, Frank Sinatra did, The Temptations did. My gosh haha.

Anyway...idk if you've noticed in my past few blogs but the title of the blog and then the lyrics ARE NOT from the same song. Some of them in the past have been so I don't want anyone getting confused and thinking idk my lyrics haha. Some titles just fit better than others. Like I know the Wanted: Dead or Alive doesn't match the lyrics. The title is a Guns n Roses song and the lyrics are Thriving Ivory. The title to the one after that is a Coheed and Cambria song but the lyrics are Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles. And then the one after that the title is from...FUCK. I forget what song I got those lyrics from :( but the lyrics in the post are Boys Like Girls.

YAY and then this would be titled from The Eagles with lyrics from the Man of La Mancha lyrics.

Idk why I felt the need to explain myself haha. Maybe because the titles and lyrics match the blog I'm writing about. "Wanted: Dead or Alive"= I hadn't posted in forever. "Please don't tell my secrets keep them hidden"= things I haven't told you. "It may be raining but there's a rainbow over you"= the hurricane was coming LOL.

Anyone noticing a pattern? HAHA, there is always always always a method to my madness. I'm creative and I always use lyrics to express myself SO PAY ATTENTION! And the title and lyrics from today's blog will match what I write about. Shucks *snaps finger* genius. Makes sense to me :)

Moving on...

Today was a very peaceful day *coughblogtitlecough* :) everyone woke up in a good mood and the weather was perfect ALL day. That's right, that tropical, whatever she is moved more east and looks like we wont get much of anything at all besides some wind or occassional showers! *jumps up and down* we aren't being evacuatedddd!!!! yayyyyy

My dad and I were walking along the beach and something just felt different. I was enlightened. There weren't a lot of people on the beach and the water was the perfect temperature. For some reason it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I was looking out over the ocean and I realized that 2,000 miles away I was there a month ago. Then it hit me even harder. SUMMER. IS. OVER. Wow. Yeahhhh...but this was by far the greatest summer of my life. I recall saying at the end of last year...OH WAIT, it was my New Years Resolution, thats right *snaps finger* I promised myself that no matter what went wrong, I would make 2008 the best year of my life. 2007 was awesome possum but 2008 has completely rocked my socks off.

Graduating early was the best thing I could've decided to do. I got a job with people that like me as much as I like them and care about me rediculously. I went to prom with all of my best friends and it was sensational. I fucking graduated! I got to pick out the car of my dreams. I am closer now than I have ever been with my 3 best friends. I went to mother trucking EUROPE. Germany, Spain, France, Italy, England. I met David Cook and he means more to me than ANYONE understands. Then my best friend from KC came and spent a week with me and we had the time of our lives. I went to Phoenix and got to see my family and participate in some honorable activites. Now here I sit in Florida typing this.

I can't even put into words the way I feel. And on top of all that? I'm going to meet David again next week, I just got invited to a Michael Buble concert, I'm picking up more hours at work, and by the end of this year I might be a certified travel agent.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. This year is rockstar.

But walking down the beach today this year just fast forwarded through my head. I'm crying now at the thought of it. This is in no way a bragging blog, it just hit me head on today what has happened to me this year.

And looking out across the ocean today just put into perspective how big of a world it is out there. I wanna explore it. I don't want to die knowing I never got to see the beautiful world and all its people and cultures. I won't let that happen. To dream the impossible dream...then to make it come true.

Every celebrity I've ever listened to has conveyed one simple message to me:

"If you want something bad enough, you'll get it. Don't give up until you do."

True....story....

I compiled a list of all the places I can think of that I wanna go. As of right now there's 36 places. Here it be [so far]:

-Alaska [I wanna go on a train ride through it]
-The New England states, yes all of em
-Savannah, Georgia
-Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
-Siesta Keys, FL
-Miami, FL
-Panama City, FL
-San Diego, CA
-Salem, Oregon [right?]
-Yellowstone National Park
-Grand Canyon
-Niagra Falls [on the Canada side]
-Memphis, TN
-New Orleans/Baton Rouge
-Las Vegas
-The absolute tip of Maine
-Toronto
-Sydney or Melbourne, Australia
-Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
-Cancun, Mexico
-St Martens, Virgin Islands
-St Croix, Virgin Islands
-Jamaica
-Bahamas
-Brazil
-Paris, France
-London
-Copenhagen
-Greece
-Berlin
-Plymouth [where my family's from]
-Venice
-Dublin
-Egypt
-Cape Town, South Africa
-Kenya

are you bored yet? I'm sure you don't care LOL the entire purpose of this blog anyway is for me to go and look at what was going on in my life at a certain time. Just my online diary. If people are reading, great. If not, I'll always have this to refer back to in 10 years :)

Maybe I should write myself a letter?

Dear future me,

Read these blogs and laugh at how much life has changed since then. Rejoice in your accomplishments and be proud that you set goals at such a young age. Be confident in knowing that you'll always be as crazy as you were when you wrote these. But know that no matter how crazy you once were, people still read this and they loved you even after. Life is a precious gift, waste it not. And laugh at yourself for being so "grown up" at such a young age. Also, laugh knowing how cheesy this whole idea of writing to yourself ended up being.

With all the love in my heart and soul, Rachel...the young and determined rockstar.

If I get any cooler......actually, just don't let me hahahahaha. Hope I made someone laugh...? :)

love youuuuu*

Look back and laugh at this too, since he's your husband now:


haha...jokingggggg

It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And listen to the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Today I'm on my own
___________________________________________________
I fear, my friends, that we might get evacuated.

Hannah announced her entrance today. That was the coolest thing I've seen in a while though. We were sitting here getting ready to go lay out in the sun when it got really dark above the ocean. My dad was like "as a previous sailor, I do believe its getting ready to storm." Sure enough, about 10 mins later here she came. I went outside and took pictures and videos. The wind was blowing like crazy and the waves were crashing; the biggest waves I've seen here in years. There were whitecaps as far as you could see, it was absolutely crazy and the water was coming all the way up to the deck. Right now the wind is blowing around 25mph and its practically raining sideways. They're estimating Hannah's arrival to be late Thursday, early Friday. Umm, we don't leave til Saturday.

After dinner tonight we're going to buy water and gas. The last time we were evacuated was when I was 7 years old.

I'm sitting by the door typing this and now the sun is trying to come out. It looks like the clouds are breaking but its still pouring. Maybe a rainbow? I hope it clears up because I'd like to tan a little more and also, I'm not too fond on having to fly back home Thursday because we get evacuated. We'll see right?

So I believe I'm getting sick. I know why...because when we went out to Phoenix, everything is so hot and dry and its actually really good weather for your health. Everyone that was from that area said "you'll probably get sick when you go to FL." Gee thanks, we're sick. Now we're in hot weather and high humidity. Everything's wet and its confusing my body haha. I currently have a stuffy nose, a disgusting cough, and a small sore throat. YAY ME!!! Whatever. I had a cold for the entire month of February, so I'll live.

Idk what to type about. I had something else I wanted to say but I lost it...did you know 1/3 of Americans have genital herpes? What a lovely commercial...these people act so happy to have had herpes and now to be without it. I'm not sure if I'd want to make my acting apperance in a genital herpes commercial, but that's just me and I suppose SOMEONE has to do the job haha.

Yay, I typed the rain away! Its barely sprinkling now and there's blue in the sky!! I love how none of you care about this. I wish you were here to see it though, its pretty friggen cool. This just became a pointless blog. I'm going to go upload my Phoenix pics. I'll post some links laterrrrr.

Love you*

Edit: Yeah round 2. Damn it I hate this stupid tropical storm. We were just hit again! Worse than earlier too. Anyway, I remembered what I wanted to say earlier haha. I always tell you what I've BEEN doing, so for once I'm gonna tell you what I'm GOING to do. *deep breath*

October is going to be an insanely busy month. I might actually forget about my birthday haha. Starting the first week of October I'll pick up another shift and I'll be working 5 days a week at the chiropractor. We've got a lot of changes happening at the company and one person just can't handle everything anymore so I'll now be working evenings Mon-Fri! I'm actually excited, I might be able to afford gas for once LMAO.

And the best news yet...a guy at the hospital has a brother who is a travel agent. Well this brother [Steve] recommended me to this woman. She is teaching a 2 week class in October that will certify me as a travel agent. If I pass everything of course. So basically I could be a certified travel agent by the time I'm 19...wow. If this does happen for me then I'm going to change my major to business. One day down the road I'd love to be a boss at a big company or even own my own agency. My ex-aunt is a big shot agent and I need to get in contact with her and maybe learn some of her mojo haha.

That means that I will be working 5 days a week, going to college 2 days a week, and taking this class everynight for 2 weeks. It'll be the busiest 2 weeks of my life but like my mom said, "you can do ANYTHING for 2 weeks." My fingers are crossed so tight they might break. This could be the opportunity I've always waited for...presented to me by a guy who doesn't even know me. THAT'S HUGE. I'll do anything to do his recommendation justice. I owe him the biggest thank you evarrr.

That's all :) peace out cub scouts*

Thanks for this Jo...there's just something about him and I haven't posted a pic in a while: