Wow. True story :)
Apologize for no update yesterday. I'm just going to quit apologizing for things beyond my control LOL people tell me I say "sorry" too much.
I've been hella busy this weekend. We are COMPLETELY cleaning house. Top to bottom. Corner to corner. Absolutely anything and everything is getting cleaned.
For next weekend.
Graduation.
I'm scared :(
Not of graduation itself, but what the future holds. I'm just gonna sit back and let life run its course. What ever is meant to happen is obviously going to happen. I'll learn to deal. This is just a part of life. Everyone has to do it at some point, and I'll get through it stronger, even if it drains all of me.
I'm afraid of the unknown. One of my biggest fears. I'm afraid of the dark because it's the unknown. I'm afraid of the ocean if I can't see my feet because it's the unknown. I'm afraid to die because no matter how hard you believe it's still the unknown until happens to you.
*sighs* the unknown is a scary place eh? Let's not go there then!
Anyway...I've gotten breaks every now and then. I stayed the night with my grandma last night. We cleaned out my car and got rid of all my stuff :( I almost cried cuz its so bittersweet. It's like, my mom bought that car BRAND NEW, and I remember being a little kid and riding around in that car. It was mom's car, and so cool, at that. Then I turned Sweet 16 and it became MY CAR :) my first car. I invested so much into that thing. It truly is going to break my heart when I trade it in because once I drive away, I know I will NEVER see that car in my driveway again, and everytime I pass one on the road I'll always wonder if that's MY car :(
It hasn't sunk in yet that it's gonna be gone FOREVER and I'm getting a brand spanking new car!!! Exciting and bittersweet at the same time.
Today I slipped away from the cleaning to hang with Ash. We cleaned as much as we could until we all couldn't take anymore. It was crazy though, I went to pick Ash up and we literally were twins. Wish I could've taken a pic. We both had on white flip flops, white shorts, yellow shirts, a headband, and hot pink purses. Crazy much? Her parents almost flipped a lid they thought it was so strange. The ironic part? In elementary school we used to call eachother "twin" and today just lived that childhood nickname out.
Once again, how bittersweet. I had a graduation meltdown today. But it wasn't 100% about graduation, instead about my best friend Kayla. We've been best friends since we were 3 years old and with the fate God intended, she became my neighbor in 4th grade. No matter what the situation, she has ALWAYS came through for me. I have never been able to depend on a human as much as I can depend on her. If its the middle of the night and I need to cry, she'll make sure she's awake to hear the situation. When I need a good laugh, she knows the perfect things to do and say. It's absolutely crazy how alike we are.
Example: We'll both get the same song that we haven't heard in YEARS stuck in our heads the same day. We'll both end up watching the same movie on the same night. We finish eachother's sentences like no other. In fact, you'd probably find it annoying. It was literally a match made in best friend Heaven. We are the perfect friends, if I do say so myself.
And it's going to absolutely BREAK-MY-HEART when she moves away to college. Even though she's only going to be 45 mins away, it'll be such much more different than being 45 steps away. She's my rock, my everything. She knows more about me than I'll ever let any other human know, because I trust her with my whole heart and I'd give my heart to save her life.
Out of all the best friends I've made in my life, she's the only one moving and she's the closest one to me. 15 years of our lives have been dedicated to eachother. All those endless summer nights, the movie nights we spent during the winter, all the photos, the laughs, the cries, the memories, the heartbreaks, EVERY SINGLE THING in our lives have involved eachother.
I'm going to cry again. But you know what? It won't hit me until she's already gone and I come home and that little red Jeep isn't sitting in the driveway. That's when I'll realize she's gone. Someone I've loved my entire life is leaving me, and I'm so scared what the future brings. I know in my heart we'll be together forever, and I just pray God has the same plan for the two of us. I love you KMW!!!
Anyway, I'm done, this got off topic majorly. TTYL!!! PEACE LOVE RNR
This is us in all our glory :)
^^we were 5 in this pic.
^^Senior pics, once again, she always pulls through!
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