Little girl you're in the middle of the ride

Everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright. Hey, you know they're all the same. You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in. Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else. Hey, don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just do your best, do everything you can. And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

Tina, I hope you read those lyrics :) figured you might need a booster, plus I think you're the only one who reads my entries!! LOL

I have nothing to do but wait for 22 pages of pictures to print. That equals 85 pics if you're curious. And if you're even more curious as to WHY IN THE HELL I'm doing this [haha] it's because I'm making a tri-fold poster collage for my grad party.

*deep breath*

:( this just sucks. These past 5 entires have been depressing LMAO. This week has just flown by and there's no stopping or turning back now. Ew its friggen crazy.

Finished planting flowers today and did a little more cleaning. I also set up my Senior table. I'm putting this poster on it along with a couple of framed pics and all my Sr pics. I hope you guys come to my party :) even if its just for 5 mins, it'll make me smile.

I feel like I have so many things I need to say to people. I just want to sit down with my old friends and reminisce. I keep thinking about all these times with all these different people and I'll randomly remember some little thing that happened that ended up being hilarious. But then I think of how much times and people have changed and how no matter how bad I want to, I know I'll never be able to get back what we had.

That's the best part about memories is that the people in them change, but the memories them self remain the same. Beautiful. Life ain't always beautiful but it's a beautiful ride.

You are probably so SICK of hearing about graduation but really, this is the most important thing that's happened to me thus far in life. And then I think of how many people I know that DIDN'T graduate and what they've missed. Ever since Jr High I've absolutely hated school. I don't like being confined to a room for 90 mins and having some of the teachers I've had but now that I've matured, I realize those really were the greatest times of my life.

Older people ALWAYS say h/s is the best time of your life, and I NEVER believed them until this VERY MOMENT. Looking at all these pics and remembering all those memories, I realize that life is awesome. It's so much fun and there are so many things to do. That sounds funny but it's true. I have family members that didn't graduate and I just wish I could sit down and talk to them. Now that I've made it through hell [haha] I realize how LUCKY, yes lucky, I am to be graduating. So very thankful for every teacher I've had and for all the friends and memories I've made.

All the Friday night football games, the Saturday night movie nights, everything. It's all been so amazing and I'm so grateful for every memory God has blessed me with.

I've literally lived one of the craziest, and funniest lives ever.

To sum up my life in one word thus far: supercalifragilisticexpeolidocious. K? Cool :)

Before I go I just wanted to say CONGRATS to David Cook for signing a record deal with RCA...I'm so excited to join him on this journey. Woooooo!!! ILY.

and also love you for reading this. RNR baby*

enjoy a shit ton of pics:

I used to dream about the future, but now the future is the past

I remember all the good times, sometimes I'd wonder would it last? I don't wanna live in yesterday, cross my heart until I die, don't wanna know just what tomorrow may bring, because today has just begun, no matter whatever else I've done -I'm here for you-

Can you guess who sings that song? I bet you CAN'T :)

Ozzy freaking Osbourne. Yessir. I love his newest album, Black Rain, ch ch ch check it out, haha.

This is one of the busiest weeks of my life. I think the only other time I'll be this busy in one week is the week before my wedding. True story my friends.

I think I planted about 150 flowers today. It was quite ridiculous. But on the flip side, they look ridiculously BEAUTIFULLLLL. Now the question is, will anyone even notice them at my party? Haha, all that work for nothing?

Oh yeeeeaaahhhhh, got my new car :-D its true, I'm in love. She's beautiful. Her name is Princess because I'll treat her like one. I love that new car smell....oh gosh it makes me smile just thinking about it!!! Last night was kinda a crappy night so I drove around with the top up but today was a different story :) TOP DOWN BABY ALLLLLLLLLLLL DAY. Ew it's so beautiful it gives me chills. If it's a nice day tomorrow I'll take some pics of me and my hawt new ride.
Nothing has been happening really. Boring? Just getting ready for grad and it's all crashing towards the ground faster than the speed of light. 2 days. Whoaaaa, just the sound of that gives me chills. I've still got a million and a half things to do.....if only I could just wiggle my nose and blink and everything would be set :)

I'll hopefully post again before grad....we'll just have to see how these next few days pan out. If not, wish me luck :( its funny how I'm so nervous to graduate when 4 years ago, I couldn't wait for this day. Just like the title of my blog, "I used to dream about the future, but now the future is the past."

Well after Saturday....it will be the past. Just another stepping stone. We're all supposed to do it, a lot of people don't do it, but on Saturday May 31st this girl is gonna GRADUATE.
Yay me, and everyone else walking :) I love you guys!!!!

Random pics from last night:

These memories are playing like a film without sound

I keep on thinking times will never change. Keep on thinking things will always be the same. But when we leave this year we won't be coming back, no more hanging out because were on a different track. And if you got something that you need to say, you better say it right now because you don't have another day.

Its all happening a little too fast for me. We're done cleaning house for graduation. I get my new car tomorrow which means I leave the old one. And I graduate in 4 days.

Can someone slow down the ticking???? Good Lord. Take me back to a time when my biggest worry was who I was going to play with at recess. Take me back to when I thought the world was a good and safe place. Take me back to being a naieve child.

I miss it. I'm going to miss it even worse in 3 years when I'm completely done with school and starting a new life.

I've been reminicing a lot lately. Today all I could think about was elementary school times. Wow, it literally feels like all those memories just happened last week when in all actuality they happened about a DECADE ago. Can this be real? Is this just a long drawn out dream, and when I wake up I'll be in a room filled with Pocahontas things and Martha will call me to go get ice cream?

Tell me this isn't all happening so quickly. No, better yet, don't tell me anything. Don't tell me what I want to hear and sure as hell don't tell me what I DON'T want to hear. It's just crazy and I literally can't wrap my head or hands around it.

This time next week I'll be graduated. D-O-N-E. I never thought the day would come that I would say, "wow I graduate today"

I found a lot of things from last summer. Notes and funny pictures that completely took me back to that time and place. I love it but I hate it all at once. I love knowing what a great life I've had but I hate how it went by so fast that I mearly tasted it and it was gone. 18 years, shot. Down the drain. No way to turn back.

Here's to the next 18 *takes a drink*

And I drove my car for the last time tonight. I have to drive the truck to work and my parents are gonna take my old one and trade it tomorrow. *tears up* wow. MY CAR, gone forever. Its exciting but sad, and then again, its life. I kissed the steering wheel and said my thanks for a clean driving record. Superstition? Possibly....

Just one last thing before I go to bed, everyone that I graduate with next weekend PAY ATTENTION:

Do you realize that next Saturday, May 31, 2008 is the LAST TIME all of us will be together? Never again will the class of 08 be in the same room at the same time. So soak it up when it happens, because once it's gone.....IT'S GONE FOR GOOD :(

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep now LMAO, goodnight!!!

Yesterday I fell asleep in kindergarten, then when I woke up, I was graduating:

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Look at me, you may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day it's as if I play a part. Now I see, if I wear a mask, I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart.Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time.

Wow. True story :)

Apologize for no update yesterday. I'm just going to quit apologizing for things beyond my control LOL people tell me I say "sorry" too much.

I've been hella busy this weekend. We are COMPLETELY cleaning house. Top to bottom. Corner to corner. Absolutely anything and everything is getting cleaned.

For next weekend.
Graduation.
I'm scared :(

Not of graduation itself, but what the future holds. I'm just gonna sit back and let life run its course. What ever is meant to happen is obviously going to happen. I'll learn to deal. This is just a part of life. Everyone has to do it at some point, and I'll get through it stronger, even if it drains all of me.

I'm afraid of the unknown. One of my biggest fears. I'm afraid of the dark because it's the unknown. I'm afraid of the ocean if I can't see my feet because it's the unknown. I'm afraid to die because no matter how hard you believe it's still the unknown until happens to you.

*sighs* the unknown is a scary place eh? Let's not go there then!

Anyway...I've gotten breaks every now and then. I stayed the night with my grandma last night. We cleaned out my car and got rid of all my stuff :( I almost cried cuz its so bittersweet. It's like, my mom bought that car BRAND NEW, and I remember being a little kid and riding around in that car. It was mom's car, and so cool, at that. Then I turned Sweet 16 and it became MY CAR :) my first car. I invested so much into that thing. It truly is going to break my heart when I trade it in because once I drive away, I know I will NEVER see that car in my driveway again, and everytime I pass one on the road I'll always wonder if that's MY car :(

It hasn't sunk in yet that it's gonna be gone FOREVER and I'm getting a brand spanking new car!!! Exciting and bittersweet at the same time.

Today I slipped away from the cleaning to hang with Ash. We cleaned as much as we could until we all couldn't take anymore. It was crazy though, I went to pick Ash up and we literally were twins. Wish I could've taken a pic. We both had on white flip flops, white shorts, yellow shirts, a headband, and hot pink purses. Crazy much? Her parents almost flipped a lid they thought it was so strange. The ironic part? In elementary school we used to call eachother "twin" and today just lived that childhood nickname out.

Once again, how bittersweet. I had a graduation meltdown today. But it wasn't 100% about graduation, instead about my best friend Kayla. We've been best friends since we were 3 years old and with the fate God intended, she became my neighbor in 4th grade. No matter what the situation, she has ALWAYS came through for me. I have never been able to depend on a human as much as I can depend on her. If its the middle of the night and I need to cry, she'll make sure she's awake to hear the situation. When I need a good laugh, she knows the perfect things to do and say. It's absolutely crazy how alike we are.

Example: We'll both get the same song that we haven't heard in YEARS stuck in our heads the same day. We'll both end up watching the same movie on the same night. We finish eachother's sentences like no other. In fact, you'd probably find it annoying. It was literally a match made in best friend Heaven. We are the perfect friends, if I do say so myself.

And it's going to absolutely BREAK-MY-HEART when she moves away to college. Even though she's only going to be 45 mins away, it'll be such much more different than being 45 steps away. She's my rock, my everything. She knows more about me than I'll ever let any other human know, because I trust her with my whole heart and I'd give my heart to save her life.

Out of all the best friends I've made in my life, she's the only one moving and she's the closest one to me. 15 years of our lives have been dedicated to eachother. All those endless summer nights, the movie nights we spent during the winter, all the photos, the laughs, the cries, the memories, the heartbreaks, EVERY SINGLE THING in our lives have involved eachother.

I'm going to cry again. But you know what? It won't hit me until she's already gone and I come home and that little red Jeep isn't sitting in the driveway. That's when I'll realize she's gone. Someone I've loved my entire life is leaving me, and I'm so scared what the future brings. I know in my heart we'll be together forever, and I just pray God has the same plan for the two of us. I love you KMW!!!

Anyway, I'm done, this got off topic majorly. TTYL!!! PEACE LOVE RNR

This is us in all our glory :)

^^we were 5 in this pic.


^^Senior pics, once again, she always pulls through!

But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles

Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it?

Sorry it's been so long, and to be honest, I don't have much to tell you so this blog is going to be specifically dedicated to my idol, and I mean that without the irony! Laugh if you'd like, but he's changed my life and now Justin has competition :) haha of course I adore them both, so here's my Cookie Monster dedication:

Dear David Cook,

It has been an absolute pleasure to watch your journey through this season of American Idol. Personally, I believe you are the most genuine person Idol has ever met. From the very beginning you had me hooked. From the most sensual version of “Hello” I’ve ever heard, to the best arrangements of “Billie Jean” and “Always be my Baby.” You never ceased to amaze me. Who knew a rocker would be able to do the best Dolly and Mariah songs those nights? You are, without a doubt, an amazing artist. You have absolutely inspired me this year. The way you keep your head up and faith strong during your family’s time of trial brings me to tears. Your family is in my prayers, and just remember that God has a plan for Adam. Life works in mysterious ways but you have to hold on to your values and find strength in your moments of weakness. However, from what I’ve seen, you know exactly how to balance life. I’m just amazed, can I say it enough? When I read the story behind the orange bracelet it warmed my heart. I too had leukemia as a child and to know that you would support someone that you don’t even know, when they need that support more than ever, truly puts a smile on my face and tear in my eye. From what I’ve seen, you are going to do great things in life. You’ve made it this far, and it can only go up from here. I hope you use American Idol as your launching pad and I truly look forward to your future endeavors. Always know that you’ve got someone out there who will be with you every step of the way. I hope our paths cross someday and I can tell you this face to face. I wish you nothing but peace, love, good health, happiness, and success in your lifetime. You have a beautiful heart, a beautiful soul, and not to mention a beautiful face. Congratulations on a most deserving win. Thank you for being my idol and thank you for changing my life. I can’t wait to see what is coming next…rock on handsome.

Your fan always,

Rachel Prater

I love you. I wish there was a way you could read this....*sighs*

It's been good, getting to know me more

I'm the one who likes gardenia. I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor. I don't wanna hang up the phone yet. [insert blog title here].

Boring freaking day. Went to bed at 4am, and I'm sure that can't be healthy, but then woke up at 11. Bummer. Hopefully I'll sleep good tonight?

I don't really want to talk about what I've done today so this is gonna be a completely off topic out of nowhere blog, hope that's good for you :)

I just wanted to touch base on a few things.

I know my last few blogs have been really Sunday School answerish but I don't think you really understand me. It's hard for you to get to know me online. Some people write really good words and can't talk it out in person. I admit, I'm a very good writer. I sucked at everything in school except for choir, social half hour [lunch], and english. I am and always have been a pro at english. And I'm super anal about grammar. Ask anyone that I text or IM regulary, I always capitalize the first letter of the first word, I use commas, and periods and I rarely abbreviate things. It's just my thing, and I'm fer sure OCD about it. It drives me crazy when people can't spell either. I'd never say anything because I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I definitely bite my tounge when common words are misused.

With that being said...even though I am a good writer, I don't want you guys to think that that's all there is to me. Because I can talk the talk and walk the walk even better. If we can be brutally honest with eachother right now, I truly do love helping people. What is my greatest passion in life? Changing lives. What do I want to be remembered for? Changing lives.

Go ahead, all together now, AWWWWWWWWWWW. Whatever. It really does make me happy to put a smile on someone else's face. Smiles are contagious too, try this for me: tomorrow when you see a stranger, make sure they're looking at you and just smile. I guarantee a smile back and if not, still know that you brightened their day just a little. I think if the whole world laughed and smiled a little more, then there wouldn't be so much animosity.

Pet peeve number 2: Negativity. I try to be positive about everything so please don't bring your negativity around me. Isn't it sad that its HARD to be positive? Shouldn't it be hard to be NEGATIVE??? I think so. If you fill your life with positive things, then you shall reap positive rewards. Take my karma for example, I do good for others so in return good things happen to me. I don't believe in luck. I believe for every action there is an equal reaction. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT DONE UNTO YOU. I help others because I want someone to help me when I need it. The advice giver sometimes doesn't know how to follow her own advice. Preaching to the choir and I don't even practice it. That's a little secret between us.

Also, with so much negativity in life and our lives completely revolving around materalistic items and MONEY, do we not realize that we can't take these things with us when we die? Life should not revolve around things that won't matter in the after-life. If you believe, that is.

Someone always has it worse than you. You may not be able to pay your rent or haven't eaten in 24 hours but there's always someone who is living on the street and hasn't eaten in a week. SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU. Read those words over and over again. No one has the perfect life because if they're life was perfect then it wouldn't exist in the first place because God didn't make us to be perfect. Once again, if you believe. Therefore we all have our times of trial, no matter the degree, but we're human right? Next time you're complaining, do me a favor and listen to yourself then ask yourself "what could be worse than this" then realize that not everything in life is so bad. NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS NEGATIVE. We have to stop living in such a declining manner. It's sickening, and it's ending the world.

In a nutshell: complaining is pointless and it only spreads animosity.

Oh wise one strikes again. I'm done typing because I'll probably get criticized. Don't pay attention to my age, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I SAY. I don't just type this for nothing, I do it in hopes that maybe hundreds of miles away, I just changed a complete stranger's life, and if I did, then mission accomplished. I'm smiling.

The current loves of my life:

He's currently stolen a piece of my heart:

He'll ALWAYS have a piece of my heart

I love her. We're both complete Rockstars. We're moving to LA together along with Jenn and the Bella in 3 years :)

I haven't got it all figured out just yet

I feel drunk but I'm sober. I'm young and I'm underpaid. I'm tired but I'm working, yeah. I care but I'm restless. I'm here but I'm really gone. I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby. But I've got one hand in my pocket. And the other one is giving the peace sign. I'm free but I'm focused. I'm green but I'm wise. I'm hard but I'm friendly baby. I'm sad but I'm laughing. I'm brave but I'm chicken sh*t. I'm sick but I'm pretty baby. And what it all boils down to, Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet...

Rachel adores that song :)

Today was a pleasntly fun day. Days like these make me love being a crazy teenager. I mean really, cuz I'm such a grounded, laid back, humble person so its nice when I'm around the right person that I can be wild in front of. And my best friend Ashley is good for sparking my wild side. I swear, we can get into the silliest situations, but if we didn't, our friendship would not be the same!

We started out by going to the Spring Fling, its like a mini fair they have in our town. And since the town is so small it literally is a mini fair! Haha. My grandpa is best friends with the mayor, if that gives you some sort of clue about my town :)

We rode one ride because she started feeling sick. Then we turned right around and bought funnel cakes! Actually, me and her sister got funnel cakes, and Ash got ice creammm.

Then we went putt-putting. I swear everytime the 2 of us go putt-putting SOMETHING crazy happens. Today was no exception. I ended up hitting my ball hard enough that it skipped over the course and landed in the grass. So my genius best friend decides to THROW MY BALL IN THE WATER?!!! So I chased her down and did the same with hers. As soon as we did it we were kinda like "oh shit, we still need to play with those." So we go to get them out of the water and I'm sitting on the ground pressing my foot on the side of the grass [which was all muddy and wet] when all of a sudden it decides to cave in and take my foot with it. I kid you not, the grass caved into the water and my entire foot got soaked. What a rip off. It was a good laugh though and my shoe got cleaned so it worked out right?! Haha.

And thennnnnnnnnn, we went to an arcade. Fun shiz. I challenged her to a game of bball and then we both played DDR. I mean literally, she was in charge of 2 arrows and I was in charge of 2. Like, we literally played the one person together. It was good times.

After all that, [sheesh it was a long day], we drove around and ended up at Tim Horton's. We know 2 people that work there so we kicked it for about an hour.

Aww, while we were there this mama and daddy goose were crossing their babies across the street. Ash and I went out and watched cuz it was a friggen busy ass street and we were both afraid they'd get hit.

She got a sweet ass new car, but I'll keep that to her business, PLUS I didn't tell her I was gonna write about her, so I don't wanna say too much :)

I will say.....haha......she almost killed me for it too....I threw my can of pop out the window into the river but I accidentally spilt it all down the inside of her new ride. Haha, it was innocent and we both laughed. It's ok, she's already threatened my new car. She'll probably just spit gum on it like the last hahaha, can you tell she loves me? It's not a big deal.

Sorry this was so boring, my day was actually incredibly awesome but its hard to describe memories, you just have to be there to experience them and only I know what today was like and for some reason I can't put it into good words right now! Its getting late, so give me a break would ya?!

Pics of the day, just because I can't get enough of him, and proof that we're both crazy haha, I love him, but who's crazier?????:

Stand in the back or be the star

Fame is a drug, wanna hit that? Cuz they know exactly where to get that. Did you get that?

ON AND ON, ON THE BEAT GOES. Sorry, I love that song. I love the artist part of Kanye but not the person part. Just putting that out there. He's a tad too drama queen for me, but that's another story.

Today. May 17th. Haha, good call, I know. Today was the Department Junior Convention. And you have know friggen idear what that means do you? Of course maybe 3 people reading this will know, as in KSAL, Lindz, and Sami.

So let's back the truck up. Do you know what the American Legion is? Ok, now maybe I got some more people understanding. IF NOT, I shall explain it to you. The American Legion is an organization who is based on for God and country. In fact, here is the Preamble to the Constitution that we recite at every meeting:

"For God and Country, we associate ourselves together for the following purposes:
To uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America
To maintain law and order
To foster and perpetuate a one hundred percent Americanism
To preserve the memories and incidents of our associations during the Great Wars
To inculcate a sense of individual obligation to the community, state, and nation
To combat the autocracy of both the classes and the masses
To make right the master of might
To promote peace and goodwill on earth
To safeguard and transmit to posterity the principles of justice, freedom, and democracy
To participate in and contribute to the accomplishment of the aims and purposes of The American Legion
To consecrate and sanctify our association by our devotion to mutual helpfulness.

I gained my eligibility through my grandfather who was in WWII and my dad who served in the Army during time of war. So now; the Auxiliary is the women who had a father, grandfather, so on that served in a war. The Juniors are the daughters and granddaughters of the Auxiliary members. I sure as hell hope that makes sense. It's a veterans organization who also does community service and service to children.

I am the state[aka Department] of Ohio Junior Auxiliary president. I'm in charge of all juniors in the state. K? Well since I had leukemia, my special project this year was dedicated to Children's Miracle Network which was started by national Children's hospitals. We've raised about $1500 and the deadline is before May 31, so we're hoping to bust that $2000 mark! I present my check to CMN on the 31st. I'll be on TV. Channel 7 to be exact.

So today I was completely touched. TWICE. I was at the podium telling everyone about my experience with cancer and about CMN and one of the women in the audience took my picture and afterward she brought it up to me and I almost cried. Keep in mind, NO OTHER PICTURE of me had anything wrong with it. But in this one, there were 5 orbs around me. Orbs are little lights that show up in pictures signifying people who have passed. I gasped when I saw it and she asked me if I knew 5 people who I was close to that had passed and I truly haven't. Our explanation: 5 little children in Heaven who died from what I had, were with me during my speech.

And 5 is my lucky number which is the reason I cried.

Then I was touched again. After the meeting was over with this older woman asked if she could talk to me. When she pulled me aside she said this, and I wrote this down as soon as she walked away because I'll remember it for the rest of my life, she said:

"I don't know you, and you don't know me but I'm proud of everything you've done for Children's Miracle Network. I'm currently fighting cancer and I congratulate you on you beating cancer and staying in remission. You're a beautiful young lady and you're going to grow up to be something wonderful."

She hugged me and walked away. Left me stunned.

Of course I cried. I'm going to type that up and carry it with me. Anytime I feel discouraged, I wanna read that. I don't know her name because she walked away before I could get it, but I'll remember her for the rest of my life. That's one of the most touching things I've ever been told in my life. I'm honored.

This just got really friggen long again. I apologize. "I wanna know have you ever seen the rain, coming down on a sunny day?" That was just on a commercial. Sorry, I was definitely distracted.

Until next time, do what you can while you can! Xoxo

I'm proud of this more so now than I ever have been:

They see me rollin', they hatin'

:-D I've never been this happy IN MY LIFE.

Let's just start from the beginning and get to the good stuff later!

I lied. I said I would update everyday, and I lied. Sorry. But I'm here now. So yesterday, I volunteered at the hospital then went to work. Nothing too exciting nor out of the norm. Then afterwards, I went to a meeting and got my 2nd scholarship! Woo....the first one was for all my volunteer hours at the hospital and then last night's was for all my volunteer work with helping veterans and children. I'm proud...for good reason :)

It poured like a son of a last night so my best and I had a movie night. We watched Mad Money- it was cute but nothing to go insane over. THEN we watched House of Wax. I'd never seen it before. Holy shit that movie was awkward. What kinda freaky ass human being came up with that story? I wouldn't want to meet them is all I can say. If you haven't seen it then I won't ruin it for you but all I can say is I do suggest renting it, cuz its a different kind of movie and I kinda like it? Even though it was WEIRDDDDDDDDDD.

Shall we move on to the greatest news? We shall....ready? you sure?

*SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

My parents bought me a new car today :) Not just ANY new car.

2008
White Diamond
Pontiac
G6
CONVERTIBLE.

O---M---F---G. I was about to cry. Let's go back to the beginning though.

I wake up and notice my phone is lit up with a new voicemail. I ALWAYS click away from it to check who called FIRST. I never listen to my voicemail with blind faith haha. So I noticed it was my mom's work and she had literally called *checks phone* 8 times. Of course I was freaking the hell out. A million things ran through my mind. Mom's in the ER. Grandpa's in the ER. Someone died. Grandma has to redo surgery. I'm in trouble for something.

I WAS SO SCARED. So I called and all she would say was to come in and see her. She said not to freak out and that nothing happened to anyone and I wasn't in trouble. I got dressed threw on some make-up and then darted to the hospital.

It was going to be a surprise. My uncle was going to drive it to my graduation and then hand me the keys. That would've been cute. BUT my mom said she was so afraid she'd buy me something that I wouldn't like and then she'd regret putting out that kind of money if I hated it. Which probably wouldn't have been the case, either way, I mean ITS A NEW FUCKING CAR.

Anywho. Long ago, I looked at these cars and picked out the exact one I wanted.

Fate? yes. Went to look today, the EXACT CAR I WANTED just so happened to be the ONLY 2008 and in the color I wanted at that dealer and at any dealer within 30 miles.

Is that not insane? In fact, he promised me I'd be the only one driving that car in that color in this part of town. Wow. I'm beside myself.

This year is perfect. I got a new car, I'm getting a new digital camera, I'm getting a new phone later this summer, I have floor seats to the American Idol tour, I'm going on a cruise to Spain, France, and Italy, then I'm going to Phoenix to see my cousins, then to Daytona Beach. I'm going to cry. I thank God everyday for the wonderful life he has given me. I picked up some good karma through my life and I hope to continue the positive path my life is headed.

I'm the happiest I've ever been. Can I keep this feeling forever?

I'm out--going to get my new digi. LOVE YOU ALL*

This be my car, idk why the pics so small, we pick it up on the 27th, 4 days before grad:

"You alone can make my song take flight

Help me make the music of the night."

Hi. This be my first blog. And I believe I'm just going to jump right into it!

Today was a good day. Wait, scratch that, today was an amazing day!

Let's just start off by admitting how much I absolutely LOVE David Cook from this season's American Idol. I have a brand-new-crush. *SCREAMS* I meant love when I said it. Let's get married David, ok? You don't have to ask, my answer's yes, so just get me the ring and let's start planning :)

Whoa. Back the truck up, haha. I know I sound crazy, but if you haven't watched AI this year then there's no possible way you would understand! The man is an angel. He wears an orange bracelet every week with the name "Lindsey" inscribed on it. Who is this lady Lindsey? She's a 7 year old fan from Florida. She's been diagnosed with Leukemia. David found out about her and it touched him so much that he asked her dad for one of her support bracelets. AND HE WEARS IT EVERY WEEK JUST FOR HER.

This hits home with me because I too had Leukemia when I was young. In fact, I was 1 1/2 years old when I was diagnosed. My mom took me to doctor after doctor until I met my angel. I think Dr. B's angel and my angel got together in Heaven and decided to cure me. I had been having severe back pain for a while and so my mom kept taking me to all these docs and they all said I had a disaligned spine or something of that sort. They thought it was so disaligned that they put me in a body cast for 6 months. Gee, thanks for getting that one wrong guys! It's not like that was one of the biggest pains in the ass EVER. Anywho, I walked into Dr B's office, my mom told him what was wrong, and he looked at her and said "She's got cancer." Amazing eh? And he hit the nail on the head. Cancer it was. Acute Lymphocitic[sp] Leukemia. ALL for short. And nothing "acute" about it. I've been cancer free for 15 years and this just got way too deep for my first blog.

Whoa, again.

So when I heard that story all I could do was cry. He doesn't even know this little girl but the fact that he supports her during her times of trial means more to her and to all of us than he'll ever know.

2nd. Everytime he performs with a guitar, he has the letters "AC" on it. AC stands for Adam Cook, and that would be his brother who is fighting brain cancer. Bless him and his family.

That makes me cry too :(

Plus, he sang Always Be My Baby and Billie Jean and those are my favorite songs from those 2 artists. Also, he did the best Dolly Parton song that entire night. OUT OF ALL THE GIRLS AND GUYS, he sang Dolly the best.

I love him. It's true. I hope he wins. I hate to say this but I'm afraid Lil David will win just because everyone thinks he's adorable. If it's a true talent competition then Cook should get it. He's been able to sing every single song they gave him perfectly. Bless him for his talent.

So on an even BETTER note, I bought floor tickets to the AI tour this summer! I'm on cloud 9, literally right now. FLOOR SEATS. IN DC'S FACE. I can't wait to see him eye to eye, haha.

My daddy is going with me. I'm forcing him to since my mama has to work :) Let's just get this out there, I'm going to list every concert I've been to, and which one's my dad has attended with me:

Billy Ray Cyrus
Hanson- Dad came
NSYNC- Dad came
Christina/Justin Tour- Dad came
Brad Paisley
Mandy Moore
Justin Timberlake- Dad, Jodie, Jennifer, and Bella came
Christina Aguilera- Dad came
American Idol- Dad's coming

I texted my co-worker and told her my good news and when she asked me who I was going with I told her my father, and she said [I love this]:

"Only a real man would sit through something like that with his daughter just because he knew it put a smile on her face!"

So daddy, if you're reading, thanks for all the smiles you have put on my face! I LOVE YOU.

That's it for now. This was too much. SORRY :(

David pic, notice the AC on his jacket and the orange bracelet: