Happy Halloween!

Somewhere along the line, I must've gone off track with you.
Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself.

--

Life has been fan-freaking-tabulous since last time. We left off on a Tuesday...I don't think anything major happened until that weekend. Friday night I chaperoned a sleepover at Natalie's church. We went and saw High School Musical 3...yeah yeah, they were all like 16 and under so what are you gonna do?! Haha, the movie was oober cheesy as I expected but the way they ended it was perfect, and actually gave me chills because it just worked and was such a smart move on the director's part. We stayed up all night at the church haha. We were blaring the music, playing games, eating spoonfuls of cinnamon, and put on a goofy play :) twas a lot of fun. The last time I looked at the clock it was 452am and Natalie woke me up at 714am...oh myyyyyyy. I went home and slept all day only to go back out that night and do it all over. Me and my girls went to dinner at Bar Louie down at Newport on the Levy, it was so pretty and the food waaas delish. Then we went to Metropolis. Let's talk about classy guys *rolls eyes* or let's not and say we did...gross gross gross. Next time I'm taking a guy with me so I won't have to worry :) then we went back to the hotel and as the saying goes "the rest is history" :-P

This week has been just great! School and work are still going awesome. I cannot wait until we move into our new building at work, it's gonna look so purdy!!! So Tuesday night my nana had her neice from England staying with her and we all went out to dinner. She is the coolest person ever. She's been to Australia, South Africa, Asia, and many places in between. She's awesome possum in my book. She's living in a 5 bedroom house by herself and she invited me to come stay with her. She was serious too, she wants me to come next summer for at least 2 weeks. She's going to show me all the ins and outs of England! She goes, "you come up with an itenerary and I'll make it happen." I love her! It most likely won't be next summer, but now that I have a definite place to stay, I'll be going!!

Last night grandma and I went out to dinner and then shopping. I got lots of cute stuffs! YAY, I love fall/winter! I love when grandma and I have "girls night out." She has coupons for Olive Garden so she wants to do that next. She was like "we'll do the dinner part again but not the shopping part." Hahaha, oops.

Plans for the weekend? BUSY. AGAIN. Just the way I like it. Tomorrow I'm going to dinner with Akemi. Saturday I'm going to the club for their costume party with Mary Alice, Kayla, and Michael. Then Sunday is dinner and movie with Olivia :)

I'm battling a cold/the flu now so hopefully I can keep my immune system energized this weekend and just go go go!

Life's good man...hope yours is too, love you!

Winston was an old woman for Halloween :) he LOVED his costume, let me tell ya:


Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeee with the best and most reliable friends EVER:

I'm back like I forgot something

If I were a boy, even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning, and throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted and I’d never get confronted for it
Cause they’d stick up for me.

If I were a boy I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken so they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful waitin’ for me to come home

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong

But you’re just a boy, you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday you wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her, you don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed, but you’re just a boy...
___________________________________________

Damn it I love that song! Not too much to report on my end I don't suppose. Last week was the week of best friends though it seems! Poor Liv broke her knee :( so I went over to her place and chilled for a while. I think Beth and I went to Starbucks like 3 times last week, and that might just be a record! Ooh and we went shoe shopping which is always a good time ;) Angela and Kayla were both home for the weekend so I got to see them! I got to see Miss KMW on my birthday! Her and Brad bought me Starbucks, it was awesome possum.

*thinks* holy crap, I had Starbucks 4-5 times last week...wow, addict much? Haha.

School is going incredible! I got a B+ on my last math test, an A+ on my last Hospitality test, a B+ on my last Geography test, and today my English professor emailed me and I got a 99% on my last essay. She goes, "That was a GREAT essay. One of the best in the class." I almost peed on the floor lmao, I am so happy with school FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. I mean, I never cared to do my homework in jr high and h/s and I was always slacking off and skipping school, but now I do ALL my homework in a timely fashion, I'm acing my tests, and I haven't missed a day! Such a huge difference from the past.

Oh good news! MY SISTER IS COMING HOME!!!! Not permanently, but for a week after Christmas!!! The 27th is what she's guessing. Aww I can't wait. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone as much as I miss her.

This weekend...it's on like Donkey Kong haha. Friday and Saturday are going to be the bestest evaarrrrr! YAY!

So 2 weeks from today we vote for the next pres! I am stokedddddd. This could be one of the most important elections in decades, one to go down in the history books. Everyone is saying it's going to be tight until the end, but personally I'd love to see Obama win by a LANDSLIDE *crosses fingers* Obama 08!! YAY! I seriously love the guy more everytime I hear him talk. He straight up knows what he's talking about...let's just hope whoever gets it holds up their end. Promises promises!

My birthday went fantabulous. I guess I should've said that in the beginning haha, oh well, either way it did! I am so blessed to be surrounded by the people I am, I love each and every one of you and want to say thanks for making my day special :) y'all are the bestest!

That's all for now...figured I should update this. Poor blog has been neglected :( until next time!

Yay for fedoras! I just bought one last week for my birthday weekend :)


[[27days]]

I'll cool yo ass off if ya think ya hot shit

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I have the greatest friends like evar. Gemma wished me a Happy Birthday in England time FIRST! Beth texted me and left me a comment on Facebook at midnight. 2 of my cousins left me comments on Myspace at midnight. Plus I got more texts only a short time after, from more of my favorite people! Today I go in to my Geography class and there is a box and a card sitting on my desk [?] So I open the card and it says "I hope you have an amazing birthday, Love Tonya"

THAT'S MY PROFESSOR. I open the box up, right? AND SHE BOUGHT ME A HUGE CUPCAKE. I almost cried, that was like super nice. Then then then, this woman in my class found out that today's my bday [hers was Monday] and she baked me 5 cookies and brought them in for me. She owns her own bakery and I loved her toffee cookies, so she made me some special for my bday. I COULD'VE CRIED. It amazes me when people are just nice to be nice. It's such an incredible feeling to be cared for and remembered!

I bought my birthday dress! It's sooooo cute. I bought another pair of black leggings to go with. It's got cheetah print on it, and also pink and black. You'll just have to see pics. And Beth and I went shopping tonight and got shoes. I'm so excited for my night out with my friends. It's gonna be hella crazy and fun fun fun :)

Life has been going pretty fab recently. I'm getting closer with people at school and connecting on a whole new level with some people I just met like 6 weeks ago. I'm loving school. Work is....work, but the people I work with are awesome [still]. It's now my birthday, Ohio time, and this weekend and next weekend is jam packed with good times.

Idk what else to say. I'm sure there was more that I could've said the other day BUT now all that's on my mind is my birthday. Even though I'm 19...that's an odd number and I actually don't like odd numbers haha but let's hope the day itself is anything less than odd.

Oh another thing that's amazing about this birthday? I've spent the past 2 nights with my bff Beth. I spent a quick second with my bff Olivia 2 nights ago. And 2 of my bffs are home from college this weekend. It doesn't get much better...too bad I'm only missing a couple of people :( that's life though, eh?

Happy happy happy birthday to me, Chris Kirkpatrick, and everyone else who shares this wonderful day!!!

Loves to all.




All I want for my birthday...Christmas...birthday 09...Christmas 09...haha:


O.M.F.G. *passes out* I forgot to breathe, sorry...

If I could make a man he'd look a lot like you

She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough, I'm a little bit rusty,
And I think my head is caving in.
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved, by a hand that's touched me,
Well I feel like something's gonna give.
And I'm a little bit angry, well this ain't over, no not here,
Not while I still need you around.
You don't owe me, we might change.
Yeah we just might feel good.

She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me, like I'm a little untrusting
When I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya.
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me, you couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'Cause it's a little bit dirty

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you
You don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all
___________________________________________

So weirddddddd, I was searching for my cousin Wendy on myspace and facebook and had no luck finding her. AN HOUR LATER SHE REQUESTED ME AS A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK. I about peed all over the floor, that's soooo creepy! It was literally like an hour or less laterrrrr. DAMN!

I love love love discovering songs that you remember from your childhood :) it's the greatest LOL. For instance I JUST downloaded Sugar Ray's Fly, as one of the few that I've remembered lately. That used to be mine and my dad's song when I was younger <33

So I was talking to someone today about my first music video experiences. The very first music video I EVER remember seeing was Achy Breaky Heart hahahaha. The 2nd? REM's Losing My Religion, it was on when I watched VH1 for the very first time and I thought it was the weirdest vid ever.

I remember walking to school when I was in 1st grade and I would purposely jump on the sidewalk to see if it'd light up...like in Billie Jean

I remember hating Garth Brooks' Thunder Rolls video because the guy in it SCARED me! LMAO, I'm serious, he scared me! Wtf?

I also remember his Standing Outside the Fire video and I cried because the little boy in the video makes me sad.

The first time I ever watched the Thriller video, I had nightmares that night [go ahead and laugh]

I thought that Hanson's Mmmbop video was rediculous, but I loved it either way.

Reminds me: I used to watch Edward Scissorhands when I was little every halloween, it wasn't until I was 12 that I discovered the true meaning of the story. And then I cried.

I was at one point scared shitless of Beetlejuice and I remember when I watched it at 14, I laughed hysterically. I still can't believe that movie used to scare me.

Childhood is just a funny thing...I miss it, that's for sure.

So the rest of the month is booked for me! I'm going to Natalie's birthday bash this Saturday at Dave and Busters; I LOVE THAT PLACE. Then next weekend is my birthday so I'm doing dinner with the family and my daddy got opening game tickets to a local hockey game [since I haven't been to a hockey game in 3 yrs and wanted to go really bad!] Then the night of the 24th is the youth group sleepover at Natalie's church. We're taking the girls to see HSM3 lmao, loves it. THEN THEN THEN!!!!! The 25th is my big birthday bash! I have big plans for me and the small group of friends that I invited. I hope I didn't forget anyone *ponders* if I did, please email me some way some how and I'll gladly have you celebrate with me!

Oh fuck me, the weekend after that is Halloween. I think Mary Alice wants to dress up in our costumes and go to The Masque, hahahaha. We'll see ;)

Speaking of which, since it's close enough now, I'll reveal my costume to you :) I'm going as a good girl gone bad. Yes, insipred by Rihanna's album title haha. My grandma is actually making the costume. I'm not giving away any details, but I'm OOBER excited to see how this turns out :) I love creative costumes. Typical costumes are boring anyway! Halloween is one of my favorite holidays so I always make it a point to go all out.

I fucking love October, who's with me? This month rocks my socks off, loves it!

Thanks for reading, xoxo*

Save us from the times of trial, and deliver us from evil.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were only one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me, Lord, if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have been only one set of footprints in the sand.
Why when I have needed you the most you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
___________________________________

I think by now you know where this blog is headed. So I'm not quite sure how I should approach the subject. How do you address something so meaningful in your life? Anyway, I'll try my best to put myself out there w/o forcing anything on anybody. I do, however, want to be clear that I am not ashamed to expose this information. You may not agree, but there is NOTHING wrong with voicing the views of my life. If you are offended, then there will be no reason for you to read on or even comment. This is not embarrassment, these confessions are honor, dignity, wisdom, and strength.

Onward.

This girl that I went to the Idols tour with, invited me to an event with her church tonight. The guys we went and saw were called "Team Xtreme." They are these huge body building guys that break through cement blocks and flip cars over and yadda yadda. The difference is, each of them have their own story on how God has changed their life. It was phenomenal to see these 300 pound guys talking about their faith.

They had a singer who made a point that I truly believe. He was talking about all the negative in the world right now. He said that the world isn't peaceful because we have pushed God aside. He said our country used to trust in God [hence: in God we trust] and now we are fighting God and trying to push him away. In return we are getting what we asked for. If we act in a way that we don't 'need' God in our lives, then God will step back until we ask him to come back into our lives. The devil's work is chaos, and that's what the world is today. If more people ask God to come back into their lives, the more peace we can spread; the more love the world would see instead of so much hate.

It's very true. America doesn't seem to trust in God anymore. We've lost our faith in him so he lost his faith in us. Only when we tell God we need him, will he save us.

The truth is plain and simple: when Adam and Eve betrayed God's trust he built a wall between him and humans. He sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to walk among them and to teach them the word of God. When the people rebelled against Jesus he offered his body to them to prove himself to us. He offered his legs for our sins when he walked all those miles carrying that cross on his back. He offered his back for our sins when they hit him 39 times. He offered his hands and feet for our sins to be nailed to that cross. And the devil laughed at him when he died and was buried. Jesus proved himself to us when he awoke from the dead 3 days later. He paid the ultimate price for us. And what have we done for him besides preach against him and protest against his word and sue people for posting things religious? Freedom of religion, but you can't be religious.

At the end of the program they say a prayer and after the prayer they ask everyone who wants to give their heart to God to raise their hands. I swear to you I didn't even THINK about it, my hand just raised. It was like a greater force had raised it for me. The guy was like, "for everyone with their hand raised please join us in front of the stage." They went through this whole thing about giving your heart to God and letting him lead your life. Completely giving God control of your life and you stepping away and letting destiny take over.

As many of you know I'm big on fate and destiny and everything happening for a reason. So I did.

Tonight I re-dedicated myself to God. Tonight I was saved.

It's hard to put into words the feeling I received tonight. I know there's plenty of people out there who don't believe in what I do. I know there are skeptics that would say, "you made yourself feel that way." But I can sit here and tell you right now that at that very moment, in front of that stage tonight, with my head bowed and my eyes closed, I felt God. I felt close to him. I felt his hand on my shoulder, telling me it was ok to let go of my life and that he will take care of me. I felt peaceful. I promise you. I can't make this up, I can't describe the feeling, and I'm not saying that everyone should go through what I did, but I AM saying that I felt the prescence of God in my life tonight.

I let go of my heart and soul. I let go of my controlling thoughts. My life now rests in God's hands and I know that with him, I am safe. My destiny will play out the way it's meant to be and I am no longer forcing fate. The guy tonight said, "now that you've dedicated yourself to God, let it be known that he will put the person in your life that you'll marry, he will put you in the right path for your career, God is in control and he will do what is best for you." I believe that 100%. I've always said that my husband, career, children, and life is pre-determined by God.

Tonight I let go off all my sins, all my regrets, all my stress, and all of my burdens. I gave my heart to God and I trust that he will lead me in the right path. He knows what is best for me and I am no longer in control. I've given the keys to God and now I will enjoy the ride. I will live and learn. I will live in a positive way. I will love all of his children and I will help them every chance I get. I will fulfill God's work because I know that he will take my hand and lead me down the paths he knows I can handle.

Tonight I was saved.

I don't expect any comments on this one because I know this is a hard topic for most. I just needed to type this for myself. I love you and God bless*

What the world needs now is love sweet love

I have faltered I have stumbled, I have found my feet again
I've been angry I've been shaken, found a new place to begin
My persistence to make a difference, has led me safe into your hands
In this life

You give me love, you give me light
Show me everything that's been happening
I've opened up my eyes, following
Three steps fight an honest fight
Two hearts that can start a fire
One love is all I need
In this life

I was put here for a reason, I was born into this world
And I'm living I'm believing, I was meant to be your girl
In this life.
___________________________________

Just finished watching The Notebook *wipes tears away* damn that movie gets me everytime. It's by far the greatest love story of all time. Nickolas Sparks wrote the perfect love story. What isn't perfect about it? They fell in love as teenagers, they were eachother's firsts, they lost touch for 7 years, found eachother, fell back in love, got married, had children, then died in eachother's arms. You tell me how that's NOT the perfect love story. *sighs* oh my my my. I've had plenty of late night conversations with Kayla about soul mates and the movies and how it all relates to real life. And now, I've come to a conclusion.

I believe that kind of love DOES exist. It does. I refuse to believe otherwise. Call me a hopeless romantic or naive. However, I 100% believe in soul mates. The movie What Dreams May Come is another tear jerker. Oh I love that movie! Soul mates do exist. True love is real. I AM in love with love, but that doesn't make me blind. I've told plenty of guys that I've loved them but when I truly sit and think about love, I question those feelings. They say if you've ever questioned it, then it wasn't real. I don't believe that I lied to those people, I just believe that at one point in time I loved who they were, but I wasn't in love with them.

Besides, I'm young, never once did I believe I'd find my soul mate in high school. I may be a dreamer but I'm still realistic. Everything happens for a reason...I know that much. And I also know that dreams do come true. You get out of life what you put in it. If I give honest love to all those I come in contact with and if I take everything and do everything with love, then I know true love will find me.

I'm starting to think I sound rediculous. It's ok though because I don't necessarily expect you to understand or even agree. Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions.

I believe that the kind of love portrayed in movies like The Notebook DOES in fact, still exist. True love, soul mates, whatever you call it, is real. And when that person comes along you just know. When you can't picture your life with anyone but that person. When you imagine your wedding and that person is the one at the end of the aisle. When you imagine having children and that person is the one there holding your hand. When you kiss that person and you feel it in your soul and as soon as your lips part, your heart stops beating. The permanent butterflies. That someone you tell everything to...that's when you know.

True love. Soul mates. Happy ever after.

My favorite quotes from the movie:

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever."

"Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."

I LOVE you all :)






My favorite Boy Meets World quote:

I love my sisters, I don't love no bitch

Someday they'll find your small town world, on a big town avenue.
Gonna make you like the way they talk, when they're talking to you
Gonna make you break out of your shell, 'cause they tell you to
Gonna make you like the way they lie, better than the truth
They'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say
They're gonna break your heart

From what I've seen, you're just one more hand me down
'Cause no one's tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down, I am with you now

Somebody oughta take you in, try to make you love again
Try to make you like the way they feel, when they're under your skin
Never once do you think that they would lie when they're holding you
Then you wonder why they haven't called when they said they'd call you
You'll start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by
You'll start to think you were born blind

I'm here for the hard times, the straight to your heart times
When living ain't easy, you can stand up against me
And maybe rely on me, and cry on me, yeah

Someday they'll open up your world, shake you down to the drawing board
Do their best to change you, they still can't erase you.
____________________________________________________

It's been a purdy good week :) I started 5-day weeks on Wednesday. Kind of stressful right now just because I'm now busy every weeknight until 6 or 7ish. It'll take me a good solid week or so to get used to the adjustment but I'm sure I will be fine :)

Is it possible to LOVE your job? I mean literally love it. Granted no one likes to work, but I like the environment. MOST of the patients are nice, not all, but most, and I always try to MAKE them happy haha, force my happiness upon them and then see the result ;) but more than anything, I love the people I work WITH. Both of the doctors are awesome, both the massage therapists are sweethearts and so easy to talk to, and the other 2 women are amazing, we just laugh and joke in our meetings and while working. The environment is phenomenal. Madonna and Beth both said that last year was the year from hell. They went through 5 receptionists before the found me and Tami. Madonna and Beth both said "Thank God for you guys, we love having you here." It makes work easier when you know you're wanted and cared about. The other day Olivia and I were supposed to go to the movies but our computer at work was down and so I couldn't look up times. The doctor I work for tried looking it up on his cell phone internet and nothing came up. He left early to go to his daughter's tennis match and when he ran home to pick up his wife, he LOOKED UP MOVIE TIMES FOR ME in the paper. I thought that was the most thoughtful gesture, for him to run all the way home and real quickly check the newspaper for me. He's the coolest dude ever. He calls me "boss" and "shorty" haha I loves it!

Speaking of love, I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!!!!!! October until the first of January is amazing. October is the best of the best. It begins all the scary stuff and planning for my birthday and Halloween!!! 2 of my favorite holidays in the same month; doesn't get much better! Plus, I love this weather. The cold. The rain. The leaves changing and falling. *sighs* Autumn is gorgeous. Then November brings Thanksgiving and my first break from school! YAY! And then December is the best month ever, next to October. I love getting things ready for Christmas and listening to the holiday music and going to the mall and seeing the lights and decorations *big sigh* THEN THEN THEN its time for a fresh start with a huge celebration into the new year! I love love love the rest of the year! *sings: its the most wonderful time of the year" As in, right now is the most wonderful time of the year.

YAY! haha, I love fall. I love work. I love school. I love life. I love YOU!

Fall pictures, since it's so damn gorgeous: