Love me when I'm gone

There's another world inside of me that you may never see. There's secrets in this life that I can't hide. Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find. Maybe it's too far away...maybe I'm just blind.

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong, hold me when I'm scared, and love me when I'm gone. Everything I am, and everything in me, wants to be the one ou wanted me to be. I'll never let you down, even if I could. I'd give up everything, if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here, love me when I'm wrong, you can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there, so love me when I'm gone.

When your education x-ray, can not see under my skin. I won't tell you a damn thing, that I could not tell my friends. Roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone, part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone.

So where do I start this?

Yesterday was different. Different is the only word I can think of at quarter after 1 in the morning :)

Um, found out some heartbreaking news. I guess in a way, it still hasn't hit me yet. It hasn't hit me that he's going to be gone for the rest of my life and that I will more than likely NEVER see him again. It'd be one freaky occurence if our paths ever crossed again. So what do I do? Make the best with the time I have left and pray to God it's just talk and that he doesn't go through with it. If it happens tho, then idk what I'll think. Because just like that *snaps finger* he'll be permanently gone and snatched up from my life.

I would go into detail but its not my business to publically display, plus I don't think he'd appreciate it since I didn't ask permission...

I got my hair done :) I likes. I know I didn't say anything about it before because I kinda wanted it to be like a "Oh wow, you got your hair done" kind of deal. Red highlights to be exact. Ok, red violet highlights. Nothing extreme, just what I've been wanting for a few. I would have much rather have died it black first, but we'll do that another time :)

Last night was hilar. Hung out with my best and Brad. Too friggen funny. All we did was laugh at dumb stuff, tell ridiculous jokes, and poke fun at eachother. It only lasted for like 2 hrs but it felt so good to just be happy for the entire time, you know? The world disappeared and we were all lost in laughter and POSITIVE thoughts.

Sooooooo today. Worked [nothing new]. Got some appreciated compliments on my hair, one which COMPLETELY made my day :) Then hung with Ashiepoo this evening. Starbucks is actually the reason I'm here right now, haha. I'm hopped up on the Q. Dane Cook much? LOVE HIM. That was off topic...

Tomorrow is the Relay For Life walk. It's a cancer walk that the American Cancer Society puts on. They happen all over the US so my grandma, me, and Barb are all going. All of us cancer survivors, which makes the walk that much more meaningful. Plus the stories that other survivors have to offer are always tear jerkers and life changers :)

Then Sunday the hospital is doing their 30th Anniversary celebration and they're having FREE hot air balloon rides! Definitely on my list of things to do in life. So Kayla said she'd be my date and do it with me. I can always count on her to do daredevil stuff. I suppose that's why she be my best? Cuz we contrast eachother. She likes to say that we really are sisters, God just knew our parents couldn't handle us under the same roof :) hahaha.

I'm excited. I hope its an actual hot air balloon ride and not just one of those "go up in the air and come right back down" deals. We'll see.

34 days til Europe. La di da di di. The days are getting shorter. I'm s.t.o.k.e.d.

That's all I have to say right now. Starbucks is about to run down my leg so I suppose I should use the potty :) because I know you care so much to know that!!

Love you, thanks for reading.

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